The past few weeks contained several birthdays and anniversaries in my family, among them my late mother’s birthday. Always at a loss as to how to recognize dates that were once significant but no longer are, I noted the date in my calendar, thought about going to the cemetery, and then ended up calling Aunt Betsy to chat. (more…)

Relationships are never easy, and it seems the older we get the more complicated they can become. Some days I have a hard time mentally juggling all the nuances of my personal relationships; who knows what, who shouldn’t be involved in a certain situation, how much is too much information, or the opposite, how can a particular relationship thrive on limited access. I wonder if we as adults can ever reach critical mass and lose the brain/mouth filter and just let everything hang out, unfiltered, for better or worse. (more…)

Every morning Aunt Betsy sends me an email, the topic of which is lead by an update of the weather. “It’s sunny today, but very cold. I’m going to play bridge at 2 o’clock with so-and-so and will have to dress warmly…” “Good morning. It snowed last night. I will have to call Earl and have him come shovel the walkway today…” First, I’d like to give Aunt Betsy big props for using modern technology to communicate with me. (more…)

Note: This post first appeared on the blog BlueBlinds.com

I was having dinner with some friends the other night and the subject of fear came up. All of us at the table were experiencing some sort of life event: the death of a parent, divorce, re-marriage, selling a home, starting a business, children leaving for college. We were discussing how fear plays a role in how we approach decision making and how it impacts – for better or worse – the outcome of the situation. Reflecting on our conversation I couldn’t help but think about my parents and how much of a role fear may have played in their decisions late in life. (more…)

This past weekend my 14 year old daughter went into the city with some friends to see an indoor sporting event.  The plan was for them to take the train back to our local station after the event, arriving about 10 p.m.  At 6:15 my phone rang:  “Mom, I need you to come get me now.  I’m in a situation I can’t handle…” (more…)

I fell skiing this past weekend and hurt my knee.  The initial diagnosis is a torn ACL, but the extent of the damage and ensuing rehabilitation (Surgery?  Physical therapy? Lots of rest?) will be determined based on the outcome of a scheduled MRI.  Ignoring the cloud of fear and doubt that my on-snow career is forever altered, my biggest frustration right now is the crimp this injury is putting in my non-refundable ski trip for which I am supposed to depart in 29 days – not like I’m counting or anything… (more…)

On Christmas Eve my children and I took Aunt Betsy to the matinee performance of The Nutcracker.  Betsy had driven down from her home in Northern New Hampshire the day before to spend the holidays with us.  150 miles of mostly highway driving.  (more…)

A few weeks ago my daughter and I were watching a documentary called Babies.  It is a wonderful film by Thomas Balmes that documents the lives of 4 babies around the world from birth through their first steps.  (more…)

This past week I was sitting in the kitchen having a cup of tea.  I had just ended a telephone conversation with one of Aunt Betsy’s doctors in which I was informed of her latest round of tests and alternative medications aimed at regulating her heartbeat.  My head was full of EKG numbers and recommended dosages and appointment dates and scheduling conflicts if I had to drop everything and drive to help her at home. (more…)

An interesting change has transpired in my role as caregiver this week.  And before I talk about it, it is important to acknowledge (at least for me!) that being a caregiver is not something that comes naturally or effortlessly for me. (more…)